Random Naruto ScrewUps!
by Videogamatic
Summary: Everyone makes mistakes, even the awesome characters from the Naruto cast.  Now here they are, the behind the scenes bloopers and mistakes hidden from society all these years!  Rated T for language.
1. Chapter 1

VGA:Sup? I'm Videogamatic, VGA for short.

IGF:And I'm Inuyasha's Girlfriend. No, not Kagome you dumbasses.

VGA:Me and my friend here decided to write this shit for no apparent reason.

IGF:We basically just make fun of the characters and shit.

VGA:Yeah, that sums it up. We can guarantee you that you'll be laughing your ass off after reading the first two or three chapters.

IGF:We're gonna put ten different scenes or bloopers per chapter, OK?

VGA:Enjoy, or else...

This story's rated T for Teen. Contains: Foul Language, crude humor, trash talking, and ideas that may be disturbing.

Random Naruto Bloopers!

Chapter 1

#1. Kakashi: OK then Emo Boy, tell us your likes and dislikes.

Sasuke:Well, there's nothing that I like 'cause I have a lot of dislikes. My dislikes are, well, I have a hell of a lot of dislikes. Do you want me to put them in alphabetical order, or in the order in the which I realized I hated it?

Kakashi:Whatever you want, I'm missing my soap opera.

Sasuke:Let's see, I hate pink, I hate unicorns, I hate Chihuahuas, I hate Mariachi bands, I hate termites, I hate Rock Lee, I hate Dwayne the Rock Johnson, I hate rock candy, I hate being rock solid, I hate rocks, I hate Naruto, I hate Neji, and I hate you Kakashi Sensei. YOU SON OF A BITCH!!! (punches Kakashi)

#2.Kakashi:Behold!! The Sign of the Birdie!! (Gives you the finger)

#3.Naruto:1000 Years of Death!! (Naruto shoved his finger up Gaara's ass, but forgot that he was made out of hardass sand so his finger broke instantly)

Naruto:AUGH!!! SHIT!!!

#4.Sakura:Kakashi Sensei, could you show us what's under your mask?

Kakashi:Sure, why the hell not? Beneath this mask... (Kakashi pulled off his mask but ripped off half his skin in the process, leaving nothing but his skull and leftover skin)

Kakashi:...Well damn.

#5.Rock Lee:I never wanted to be a ninja. My dream is on the stage, AS AN AEROBIC DANCER!!! (Rock Lee ripped off his suit, revealing a ballerina outfit)

#6.Ino:Sakura, you're just like those big ass weeds. You're stubborn, ugly, and a pain in the ass to kill.

Sakura:I feel so much better about myself

#7.Sakura:Ino, you pig! Sasuke obviously loves me!

Ino:No, he loves me! I'll prove it!

(Sakura and Ino went to Sasuke's room)

Sakura:Sasuke!! Which one of us do you love the most!?(Sakura opened the door and gasped. Sasuke and Hinata were on a chair making out)

Ino:What the fuck!?

Sasuke:It's not what it looks like!!

(Sasuke sat up, causing Hinata to fall off his lap)

Sasuke:If you tell anyone about this I'll-

Hinata:Here, let me handle this.

(Hinata grabbed Sakura and Ino by the throats)

Hinata:IF YOU TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS I'LL TURN YOUR ASS INTO GRASS, GOT IT!?!?

(Sakura and Ino nodded)

Hinata:NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!!!

(Hinata threw them out the window)

Hinata:Now, where were we?

(Sasuke shrugged and continued to make out with Hinata)

#8.Kankurro:I will now perform my creepy puppet act!

(Kankurro pulled out his creepy puppet)

Kankurro:Hey Mr.Puppet Dude, what do you think of our act?

Mr. Puppet Dude:Eat shit faggot!!

Kankurro:The fuck did you say!?(tackles Mr. Puppet Dude)

#9.(Orochimaru was about to kill Hokage)

Orochimaru:What's my motivation yo!?

Announcer Dude:We'll drop the charges for sexual harrassment on Sakura.

Orochimaru:Fine.

#10.Gaara:Got any Baby Soft lotion? You have no idea what this sand does to my complexion.

VGA:Well that's it. How was it? Was it totally awesome, or was it pure shit?

IGF:Review us your thoughts!


	2. Chapter 2

VGA: Us again.

IGF:I bet you're all like, 'Damn it!".

VGA:Here's Chapter Two. There's ALOT of swearing.

IGF:Enjoy.

VGA:Wait, that's my line!!

IGF:I know.

VGA:YOU BITCH!!!(Starts to chase IGF)

Chapter 2

#1.Naruto:I'm fucking gonna be the fucking Hokage! Do you fucking hear me!? You fucking better fucking believe it! I will fucking regain my fucking honor and fucking earn my fucking respect from fucking everyone in the fucking village!!

Annoncer Dude:Anything else you wanna add to that?

Naruto:Yeah, if you don't eat ramen then fuck you!!

#2.Naruto:Hi! I'm Cup of Ramen and I like Naruto! Wait, redo!

#3.Naruto:Hi! I'm Seymour Asses! I graduated from ICUP University! Damn it!! REDO!!!

#4.Naruto:HI! I'm...Um...I'm...Damn it. WHAT THE FUCK'S MY NAME!?!?!?!?

#5.Kiba:This is my doggie, Akamaru! Say hi!

(Akamaru took a piss on him)

Kib:DUDE!!! WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?

#6.Announcer Dude:And now, here's Sasuke Uchiya!

(Sasuke came onto the stage)

Sasuke:Sup?

Fangirl#1:EEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fangirl#2:WE LOVE YOU SASUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fangirl#3:YOU'RE SO HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fangirl#4:MARRY ME SASUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Orochimaru:BEAR MY CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Record scratches)

Orochimaru:What? A guy can dream.

(Sasuke hid in a cookie jar)

#7.Gaara:The best thing about having sand follow you everywhere is that you can go to the bathroom anytime you want! Shall I demonstrate?

Announcer Dude:Er, no thanks.

Gaara:Fine, wimp.

#8:Gaara:BEHOLD!!!!!!!!!! (Pulls a rabbit out of his gourd)

#9:Orochimaru:Look what I can do! (Sticks his tongue up his nose) SHIT!!! IT'S STUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#10.Sound Dude#1:We're The Sound Village Ninjas!!

Sound Dude#2:SOUND NINJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sound Dude#3:We're gonna sing our hit song that sold 4 copies worldwide!!

Sound Dude#2:4 COPIEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sound Dude#1:Get ready!!

Sound Dude#2:YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sound Dude#3:Damn it Mario, shut the fuck up.

Sound Dude#2:Fine

(Music starts)

Sound Dude#1:Uh Huh! WHAT!?!?

Sound Dude#3:Put your hands in the air if you're a true player!!

Sound Dude#2:SAY HEY!!!!!!!!!! HO!!!!!!!!!! SAY HEY!!!!!!!!!!!! HO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sound Dude#1:REPRESENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sound Dude#2:WE LOVE YOU TOKYO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Sound Dude#2 got his guitar and smashed it over Sound Dude#3's head)

Announcer Dude:You guys suck.

VGA:I love this chapter. Sound Village Rap!!!

IGF:More random shit to come next chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

VGA:Sup? I checked out my hit list-

IGF:Oh God, who're you gonna kill now!?!?

VGA:Wha? Not _that _hit list. The one for this shit that we're writing.

IGF:Oh.

VGA:Anyway the list said that over 115 people have bothered to check out this shit and 4 have left reviews.

IGF:We wanted to say thanks to all of you. Even if you didn't leave a review, thanks for at least looking at the shit.

VGA:Yeah. And if you haven't read it, then you can take your computer and shove it up your-

IGF:This is why everyone at school is afraid of you.

VGA:hiss

IGF:Um... Here's Chapter 3?

Chapter 3

#1.Announcer Dude:Kakashi, what was your childhood dream?

Kakashi:Well, my dream was to be more superior to everyone else, and I did it. See? Look at my kickass headband!

Announcer Dude:Doesn't Hokage have like 10 of those?

Kakashi:BULLSHIT!!! (Tackles the announcer)

#2.(Naruto went to Hinata)

Naruto:Hi Hinata!

Hinata:RAPE!!! (Kicks Naruto in the lucky charms)

#3.Announcer Dude:So Shino, you're saying you have beetles living _inside _you?

Shino:Damn right.

Announcer Dude:SHINO HAS HIV!!!!!

#4.Ino:Man, it's so hot! (Takes off her wig)

#5.Orochimaru:I'm gonna send this letter to my mommy! (Licks the envelope but chops of his tongue in the process)

#6.Announcer Dude:So Sasuke, I hear you blow fire.

Sasuke:Damn right.

Announcer Dude:And what are the advantages to that?

Sasuke:Well, I have a lighter anytime I want.

Announcer Dude:But you don't smoke.

Sasuke:Damn the irony!! (Goes to his trailer to sulk)

#7.Naruto:Whoa! Hinata, what happened!?

Hinata:I got breast implants.

Naruto:Damn! And when I say damn, I mean DAMN!!

Hinata:Sorry, but you can't touch this.

Announcer Dude:OOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!! Naruto got BURNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#8.(Sasuke was making some toast)

Sasuke:Now all I have to do is wait.

(1 hour later)

Sasuke:Just a little longer

(2 hours later)

Sasuke:I'm patient, I can wait.

(3 hours later)

Sasuke:DAMN IT TO HELL!!!!!!! FIRE JUTSU!!!!!!!!!

(Sasuke blew fire and killed the poor, innocent toaster and left. Then Kakashi came in)

Kakashi:No wonder it didn't work, he forgot to plug the damn thing in. Hey, burnt toast. (Picks up the burnt toast and leaves)

#9.Shikamaru:Behold!! My Shadow Jutsu!! Look, it's a bunny!! (Makes a shadow of a bunny)

#10.Jiraiya:Guess what? I've finally decided to quit drinking.

Tsunade:That's great! Maybe now you can-

Jiraiya:Shut up bitch!! Now get me some Cocaine!!

VGA:Heh heh, funny shit

IGF:It get's funnier. Wait till you get to Chapter 4.

VGA:One of my favorite ones is there. You won't be disappointed.

IGF:Review! NOW!!!!!!!!!


	4. Chapter 4

VGA:This is my favorite chapter...

IGF:There's a lot of funny stuff here.

VGA:Enjoy

Chapter Four

#1.Hokage:Fuck the Hidden Leaf Village!! I'm going to Disneyland!! (Puts on Mickey Mouse ears)

#2.(Orochimaru was gonna kill the Hokage)

Orochimaru:Before I totally kill your ass, there's something I've been _dying _to tell you.

Hokage:...What...?

Orochimaru:I saved 15 on car insurance by switching to Geico!!

Hokage:(dies)

#3.Kakashi:I can't believe Naruto beat Neji!

Sakura:I can't believe Neji lost!

Naruto:I can't believe it's not butter!!

#4.Announcer Dude:And now here's Gaara!!

Gaara:(Talking on his cellphone) Listen to me!! You can tell the Agency to kiss my white, Sand Village ass!! I want my 50 crates of mascara, AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!!!!! (hangs up the phone) Now where were we?

#5.(Hinata stepped in dog shit)

Hinata:Motherfucker!! This is fucking great!! I'm fucking walking, and some fucking idiot fucking let's their fucking dog fucking shit on the fucking sidewalk!! AND I FUCKING STEP IN IT!!!!

(A cute, innocent little girl looked at Hinata in pure horror 

Hinata:WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT!?!?!?!? LITTLE BITCH!!!(Backhands the little girl)

#6.Announcer:Switch to Geico. It's so easy, a dumbass like Naruto can do it.

Naruto:How the hell do I turn this fucking computer on!?

Announcer:...I take that back.

#7.Rock Lee:They're after me lucky charms!

Sasuke:Did they take your marbles too?

Rock Lee:Huh?

Sasuke:Er, never mind.

#8.Naruto:So yeah.

Sasuke:Yeah

Sakura:Yeah

Rock Lee:Oh yeah!!

(The Kool-Aid Dude broke down a wall)

Kool-Aid Dude:That's my line, asshole (thows an ice cube at Rock Lee)

#9.Pakuun:Look at my cute, fluffy paw. LOOK AT THE MOTHERFUCKING PAW!!!! (breaks the camera with his paw)

#10.(Pakuun was being all evil and shit)

Pakuun:I will now destroy the world with my cuteness!!

Kakashi:What cuteness?

Pakuun:Silence minion!! Now laugh evilly with me!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kakashi:Hm, what the hell? MWAHAHAHAHA-

(A timer went off)

Kakashi:My shift's over.

Pakuun:Wait- What!?

Kakashi:I'm gonna get some ramen (leaves)

Pakuun:...Can you bring me some?

Kakashi:No.

Pakuun:Damn! (Goes to his trailer to sulk)

VGA:I love Geico... The gecko is adorable, with his cute, English accent.

IGF:Weirdo. Please review!


	5. Chapter 5

VGA:Ummmm... I don't have much to say.

IGF:Me neither...

VGA:Enjoy Chapter 5 I guess...

IGF:Yeah...

VGA:...

IGF:...

VGA:This is weird.

IGF:We need start rehearsing for this shit.

VGA:Totally

Chapter 5

#1.(Naruto and Sasuke went to Hinata)

Naruto:Hinata, do you want to buy some drugs?

Hinata:Sure

(Naruto gave Hinata some drugs)

Hinata:Thanks

(Sasuke knocked out Hinata with a boulder)

Naruto:Why the hell did you do that for!?

Sasuke:She's a witness! She must be eliminated!!

(Kakashi walked in cause he's cool that way)

Kakashi:What the fuck are you dumbasses doing?

Naruto:It's the fuzz!!

Sasuke:Quick!! We must escape using our amazing ninja powers of escaping!!

(Naruto and Sasuke jumped out a window)

Kakashi:Dumbasses. Hey, drugs. (picks up the drugs and leaves)

#2.(Kakashi took off his shirt)

Kakashi:I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt. So sexy it hurts. I'm too-

(Kakashi's Mama walked)

Kakashi's Mama:HATAKE KAKASHI!!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?!?!?!?!?!?

Kakashi:MOMMY!!!!!!!!! (Covers his nipples)

#3.(Kankurro went to Gaara's room)

Kankurro:Hey Gaara! The Director Dude wants you to start your scene now!

(Silence)

Kankurro:Gaara?

(More silence)

Kankurro:Gaara!! Answer me!!

Gaara:GOD!!!! CAN'T A GUY MASTURBATE IN PRIVACY!?!?!?!?

#4.(Temari jumped off a cliff)

Temari:I believe I can fllllllllllly!!!

Gaara:You dumbass, you're about diiiiiieeeee!!!

(Temari fell on a sharp, pointy rock)

Temari:All I wanted was to touch the sky...

Gaara:You still owe me for those fucking fries.

#5.Sound Dude#1:I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!!!

Sound Dude#2:I GOT SHOT BY THE FBI!!!

Sound Dude#3:ALL I WANTED WAS A CHICKEN WING!!!

Sound Dude#1:AND THEY SHOT ME THE DINGLE-LING!!!

Sound Dude#2:I BELIEVE I CAN SOAR!!!

Sound Dude#3:I GOT ONE MY ASS BEFORE!!!

Sound Dude#1:I BELIEVE I CAN FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(The whole stage burst into flames)

Announcer Dude:You guys still suck.

#6.Hokage's Grandson:Sensei Dude, is their any cussing on this show?

Sensei Dude:Bullshit!!! There's fucking no fucking cussing on this fucking show!!! Now go fucking color with the motherfucking crayons!!

Hokage's Grandson:Fine then, you son of a bitch!!

Sensei Dude:You fucking cussed for the first fucking time!!!

Hokage's Grandson:Don't tell my mama!! She'll start bitching to me, the fucking whore.

#7.Kankurro:Ok Mr.Puppet Dude, let's try our act again.

Mr.Puppet Dude:Fuck you asshole!!

Kankurro:Oh yeah!? Your mama was a cedar!! WHAT NOW!?!?!?

Mr.Puppet Dude:(Bites Kankurro)

Kankurro:AAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#8.Gaara:I am the most the feared ninja in the world!!!

(Gaara tripped over a grain of sand)

Gaara:Fucking grains of sand!!!

#9.(Rock Lee was playing with some Barbies)

Rock Lee:Oh Barbie! You look so fabulous in you magenta halter!

(Tenten walked in)

Tenten:Damn it Rock Lee!! Are you playing with my Barbies again!?!?

Rock Lee:SHIT!!! (Jumps out a window)

#10.Naruto:Silly rabbit, Trix are for dumbasses!! That's why I eat Ramen-O's!!

**RAMEN-O'S!!!!!!! THEY'RE A KICKASS CEREAL THAT PACKS A PUNCH!!!!!!!!!!!!**

(Sakura ate some Ramen-O's)

Sakura:They taste like shit!

**RAMEN-O'S!!!!!!! THEY'RE MOOOOORE THAAAAAN CRAP, THEY'RE SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

_Ramen-O's can be puchased at your nearest garbage dump. Ramen-O's Incorporation in not responsible for any birth defects, retardation, radiation, or urinal defenciencies. Pregant women who eat Ramen-O's may give birth to a blonde haired retard with a fox demon spirit sealed inside his soul. Ramen-O's cannot be sued for any diseases you may contract cause we're cool that way._

Naruto:And if you don't eat Ramen-O's, THEN FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!

VGA:RRRRRAAAAAAAAMMMMEEEEEENNNNNNNNNN-OOOOOOOOOOO'SSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IGF:Damn!

VGA:I have a proposition. Everytime you review, we eat one full box of Ramen-O's!

IGF:But Ramen-O's don't exi-

VGA:The reviewers don't know that!!

IGF:Thet do now.

VGA:Damn! (Hides in trailer)

IGF:Hey, Ramen-O's (Eats some Ramen-O's) AAUGGH!! THEY TASTE LIKE SHIT!!!!


	6. Chapter 6

VGA: IGF, what the hell are you eating?

IGF:Ramen-O's

VGA:I thought they tasted like shit

IGF:They do

VGA:Then why are you eating them?

IGF:I ran out of Shit Sprinkles

VGA:Whatever, just introduce Chapter 6

IGF:Fine, here's Chapter 6. You should try these.

VGA:Not if your life depended on it.

IGF:...Heartless bitch.

Chapter 6

#1.Rock Lee:Guy Sensei, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Pop?

Guy:Gimme that shit!! (Grabs the lollipop) ONE!!!!!! (Bites off the lollipop) One. (Throws the stick at Rock Lee)

Rock Lee:Well damn!

#2.(Neji walked onto a stage)

Neji:YOU ARE BEAUTIFUUUUUUULLLLL!!!!!!!!!!! IN EVERY SINGLE WAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!! CAUSE WOOOOOOOORDS CAN'T BRING YOU DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Some Random Dude threw a brick at Neji)

Some Random Dude:You suck ass!!

Neji:BULLSHIT!!!! (Attacks Some Random Dude)

#3.Sound Dude#1:ROCK AND ROOOLL!!!!!

Sound Dude#2:RRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Eats a bread roll)

Sound Dude#3:Couldn't you have shared?

Sound Dude#2:Fuck you

#4.Gaara:GODDAMN IT!!!!!

Temari:Gaara, what's wrong!?

Gaara:MY SAND!!!!!

Temari:What about it!?

Gaara:I ASKED FOR SAND FROM THE BEACHES OF SOUTH AFRICA!!!!!!!! NOT THIS SHITTY ASS IMITATION SAND!!!!!!!

(Throws his gourd at Temari)

#5.Kankurro:Fucking Sand Village hourglass headband!! I can't tell which way it's supposed to go on!!

#6.Hinata:Neji, I have a loose tooth.

Neji:Damn, that's inconvenient.

(Neji tied a string to Hinata's tooth)

Neji:This is gonna hurt like hell.

Hinata:I'm scared.

(Neji slammed the door, causing Hinata's head to fly through the door)

Neji:...You saw nothing (Leaves)

#7.(A Lady went to Sasuke)

Lady:Awww, you are so adorable! How old are you , little boy?

Sasuke:I'm 16 fucking years old bitch

Lady:Awww your'e so cute!!

Sasuke:Damn my cute chibi-like anime design!!

#8:(Naruto had kicked Kiba's ass)

Hinata:Here Naruto, this salve can heal your wounds

Naruto:Thanks Hinata! (Eats the salve and dies)

Hinata:Dumbass

#9.(Naruto was hanging from a tree)

Naruto:Sakura!! Help me down!!

Sakura:Can't you get down on your own?

Naruto:No!!

Sakura:...You sure?

Naruto:Yes, I'm sure!!

Sakura:You're absolutely sure?

Naruto:Yes damn it!!

(Sakura pulled out a baseball bat and whacked Naruto in the lucky charms)

#10.(Everyone was on a plane for no reason)

Rock Lee:Why are we on a plane?

VGA:Shut up

(Snakes suddenly started to kill everyone)

Rock Lee:HOLY SHIT!!!!!!

Naruto:THERE'S FUCKING SNAKES ON THIS FUCKING PLANE!!!!!!

Sasuke:That's inconvenient

Gaara:SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Jumps out a window)

Kakashi:Snakes? Damn it Orochimaru!! What'd I tell you about keeping those damn things locked up!?!?

Orochimaru:My bad (Jumps out a window)

Kakashi: Where the fuck's a black man with a sniper rifle when you need one!?!?

VGA:I just noticed something

IGF:What?

VGA:A lot of our screw ups are about Hinata, Kakashi, and Gaara.

IGF:Well they're easy to make fun of

VGA:True, and Kakashi's awesome

IGF:Please review!


	7. Chapter 7

VGA:Sup?

IGF:Sorry for the long update.

VGA:It's her fault

IGF:No it isn't! You're the one who's too damn lazy to upload this shit!

VGA:That, and we're starting to run out of ideas. But don't worry, as long as me and IGF are still half insane, we'll still keep writing.

IGF:Updates are gonna be a little slower so be patient, or else...

VGA:Here's Chapter 7

Chapter 7

#1.Ino:Choji, why do you take steroids?

Choji:BULLSHIT!!! THESE AREN'T STEROIDS!!!

Ino:Then what are they?

Choji:Menstrual relief pills.

#2.Tsunade:Kicking people's asses is what keeps me young and beautiful.

Jiraiya:What beauty? In that case, you should start doing it 24/7!

Tsunade:I already do

Jiraiya:...

#3.Naruto:You da ninja!

Sasuke:No, you da ninja!

Kakashi:Neither of you are gonna be ninja if you don't hut the fuck up!!

#4.(Sasuke was on a rainbow eating Skittles)

Sasuke:Life is so meaningless. I mean, I'm just some emo dude who likes kicking people's asses. Why am I here? What is the meaning of life? Is there really a God? And more importantly, how the fuck can I sit on a fucking rainbow!? I fucking hate rainbows!! I fucking said that on the first fucking screw up in this fucking story!!

(Sasuke fell off the rainbow)

#5.Shino:Whatcha doing?

Kiba:Eating chocolate

Shino:Where'd you get it?

Kiba:My doggie dropped it

Shino:Where's your doggie?

Kiba:Behind the door

Shino:What's he doing?

Kiba:Making more!

Shino:You do realize that's where I keep my beetles, right?

Kiba:AKAMARUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#6.Sakura:Sasuke, you're alive!! (Hugs Sauke)

Kakashi:Gaspeth!! She has defiled the Great Sasuke's clothing!!

Sasuke:SECURITY!!

(The FBI shot Sakura down)

#7.(Naruto got poisoned)

Naruto:Oh my fucking God, I've been poisoned!!

Kakashi:Quick!! You must cut out the poison with your kunai!!

Naruto:FINE!!! (Cut his hand)

Kakashi:Deeper!!

Naruto:DAMN!!! (Cuts deeper)

Kakashi:DEEPER DAMN YOU!!!!!

Naruto:AURRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!! (slices off his whole hand) I did it!!

Kakashi:That was the wrong hand

Naruto:...

#8.(Naruto was all wounded and shit)

Tsunade:Naruto!! You're all wounded and shit!!

Naruto:It hurts... I'm suffering... cough hack

Tsunade:I'll ease your pain (Smashes a rock over Naruto's head)

#9.Guy:Rock Lee has no ninjutsu. All he can use is Taijutsu. So we trained his body and mind using only Taijutsu. He is now releasing the Gates in his body to unleash the embodiment of chakra and chi, turning him into a manifestation of all his Taijutsu.

Naruto:(Pulls out a dictionary)

#10.(Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke were in a classroom)

Naruto:Why are we in a classroom?

IGF:Cause God wills it!! (Backhands Naruto)

Sasuke:That was weird

(Kakashi walked in cause he's cool that way)

Sakura:Hi Kakashi Sensei!

Kakashi:Fuck off bitch

Sakura:What are we learning today?

Kakashi:Sex Ed.

Naruto:Say what?

Kakashi:Now as you all know, babies don't just fall from the sky. If they did, there'd be a lot of dead babies on the ground. All that stuff about the stork or New Jersey is bullshit. Everything your parents told you is bullshit!! Now, when a bee puts it's stinger in a flower, it wiggles it around a little and then more flowers bloom! Now, the same could be said when you put a banana in a donut hole, or a limousine ina garage, or-

(15 hours later)

Kakashi:And that's all for Sex Ed. Any questions?

Naruto:...

Sakura:...

Sasuke:...

Kakashi:Good! Now who wants some bananas and donuts!?

(Everyone screamed and jumped out the window. Kakashi went to the window)

Kakashi:You walking home? I can give you a ride in the limousine parked in my garage!!

VGA:That Sex Ed thing really came out of nowhere.

IGF:Yeah. Like we said earlier, updates will take longer.

VGA:We were thinking of doing oneshots too. Well later.

IGF:Review!


	8. Chapter 8

VGA:Long update... again...

IGF:We wrote our first oneshot!

VGA:Remember that screw up about Orochimaru sexually harrassing Sakura in Chapter One? Well this kinda gets into detail about that.

IGF:Not _that_ much detail. Otherwise, this story would be rated differenty

VGA:So true... Here's our very first oneshot

IGF:Enjoy

VGA:What'd I tell you about stealing my lines!?!? (pulls out a gun)

IGF:Damn, she's having one of her "moods" again...

The Great Orochimaru Court Case!!

(Orochimaru was eating some Ramen-O's)

Orochimaru:Damn, they do taste like shit! I should buy some more! 

(The FBI, the CIA, and the Men In Black broke down the door)

Orochimaru:What the hell!? You broke down my precious door!!

FBI Dude:My bad, NOT!!! I'm an FBI agent, I can do whatever the fuck I want!!

Orochimaru:Damn, by the way, why are you dudes here?

CIA Guy:Orochimaru, you are being arrested for sexual harrassment against Sakura. Anything you say can and will be used against you, that is, if we give a shit. You have the right to an attorney, and if you can't afford one, then too fucking bad!!

Will Smith:You're going down motherfucker!!

(Will Smith attacked Orochimaru. Then he handcuffed his arms to his neck.)

Orochimaru:This is bullshit!!

CIA Guy:Silence you drag queen!! Save it for the judge!!

Orochimaru:And who's that?

CIA Guy:Judge Kakashi!!

Orochimaru:Well I'm screwed

(So they wented to the court place. Yes, I wrote 'wented', on purpose)

(Court place)

Announcer Dude:This is Judge Kakashi. Today, we have Haruno Sakura, who is sueing the defendent, Orochimaru, for sexual harrassment.

Kakashi:Order!! Order!! (Bangs a squeaky hammer)

Announcer Dude:Why're you using Pakuun's squeaky hammer?

Kakashi:Mine's still at the dry cleaners

Announcer Dude:Figures

Kakashi:Now lets make this fast, I'm missing my soap operas. Sakura, you go first.

Sakura:Yes your honor (stands up)

Kakashi:Now how did this dragqueen sexually harrass you? And don't forget to add the "dirty" details.

Sakura:Well, it all started with a banana and a donut...

(2 hours later)

Sakura:So yeah, that's my testimony

Kakashi:Wow, that is the most dirty story I have ever heard about a banana and a donut. Orochimaru, how do you plead?

Orochimaru:The banana wasn't anywhere near the donut hole!! It was still in it's peel!! I swear!!

Kakashi:Overruled!! (Bangs squeaky hammer)

Sakura:Your honor, may I speak?

Kakashi:No

Sakura:But-

Kakashi:Overruled!! (Bangs squeaky hammer)

Sakura:...

Kakashi:Now who's your witness?

Sakura:It's-

Kakashi:Silence you whore!! (Bangs squeaky hammer)

Sasuke:I'm her witness your horror, I mean honor

Kakashi:Now, were you present during the time of the sexual harrassment? Sasuke:Yeah, it was funny, I mean horrible.

Kakashi:Tell me about it. And don't forget to add the "dirty" details.

Sasuke:Well it all happened when Orochimaru parked his limousine in Sakura's garage...

(2 hours later)

Sasuke:So yeah, that's my testimony

Kakashi:So the banana was in the donut!

Orochimaru:Lies!! They're all lies!!

Kakashi:Overruled!! (Bangs squeaky hammer) Now bring out your lawyer, you swine!!

Orochimaru:Yes your honor! I have the best lawyer in town!

(Kabuto came in)

Kabuto:Sup? I'm the lawyer dude.

Kakashi:About time. Now sit your ass down and do whatever you lawyer dudes do.

Kabuto:Allright. Well, I'm the lawyer and I say this dragqueen is guilty.

Orochimaru:Say what!? You're supposed to be defending me!!

Kabuto:This is revenge for treating me like shit you ugly fucker!!

Kakashi:Do you have any proof?

Kabuto:Yup. In this conveniently placed suitcase, which is conveniently placed here on this conveniently placed table, is the evidence!!

Kakashi:Then show me some fucking evidence and impress me.

Kabuto:In this suitcase... (opens the suitcase) Is another suitcase!!

(Everyone gasped. Sakura fainted. Sasuke started to pick his nose.)

Kakashi:It's horrible!! It's heinous!! It's satanic!! It's-

Orochimaru:Supercallifragillisticexpealidocious!!

Kakashi:Guilty!! (Bangs squeaky hammer)

Orochimaru:That's not fair!!

Kakashi:Overruled!! (Bangs squeaky hammer)

Orochimaru:Buts that's not real proof!!

Kakashi:You're right!! I don't want to get sued and lose my kickass squeaky hammer!! Innocent!! (Bangs squeaky hammer)

Orochimaru:Yes!!

Kabuto:Wait!!I I have real evidence right here!!

Kakashi:Fine then show me some fucking evidence and impress me

Kabuto:Here is the real evidence!! (Pulls out a banana peel)

Kakashi:Oh my God!! What the hell is it!?

Kabuto:This banana peel was found in Sakura's garage during the scene of the crime!!

(Everyone gasped. Sakura woke up and had a seizure. Sasuke started listening to his pink I-pod nano)

Orochimaru:Bullshit!!

Kakashi:Lets have the jury of Naruto clones decide!!

Naruto Clone #1:Um, we have like analyzed the data and shit.

Naruto Clone #5:And we say this dragqueen is guilty!!

Naruto Clone #11:There were fingerprints found all over the peel!!

Naruto Clone#4:Which concludes…

Naruto Clone #12:This dragqueen had a banana for breakfast!!

(Everyone gasped. Sakura fell into a coma. Sasuke scratched his ass)

Kakashi:Guilty!! (Bangs squeaky hammer) I sentence Orochimaru to 6 trillion years in prison!! CASE CLOSED!!!!(Bangs squeaky hammer)

Orochimaru:You'll never take me alive you punkasses!! (Starts to run)

Kakashi:Baileff!!

Choji:I got it!!

(Choji flew into the air and sumoslammed Orochimaru. Then he handcuffed his legs to his ears)

Kakashi:Take this dragqueen out of my sight!!

Orochimaru:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Choji took Orochimaru to jail)

Kakashi:Orochimaru has been brought to justice. Sakura, you can now sleep peacefully at night.

Sakura: (Still in a coma)

Kakashi:Order!! Order!! (Bangs squeaky hammer)

Kabuto:But the case is over.

Kakashi:I know, I'm just ordering some KFC! KFC for everyone!!!

(Then it started raining KFC)

Announcer Dude:This has been judge Kakashi. Tune in next time for more trash talking, ass kicking goodness. If you wish to be in the audience, call 1-800-I-don't-give-a-fuck. Ask for VGA, IGF, or Seymour asses)

VGA:So yeah, that's it

IGF:Oh and by the way, that's not a real phone number so don't call unless you're a fucking dumbass.

Announcer Dude:Damn it!! (Hangs up the phone)


End file.
